Arandis, Namibia: Starving for attention and understanding... in a controlling sort of way.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Starving for attention and understanding... in a controlling sort of way.

For an hour and a half, or so, while five of the six were watching a movie, one of the six had been sent to her room before the movie started. Unhappy that she was sent to her room for displaying a 'bit of attitude' and not doing what she had been asked to do, she simply wailed and cried for at least half that time. During the movie I caught her near the edge of her open door, trying to catch a glimpse of the movie. Instructing her to get back on her bed, more crying and wailing ensued, as I heard more of, "I want to go home."

Once the movie was finished she was allowed out of her room as long as she stopped crying. All seemed better as she began to work on a puzzle with the others and we all had some cake and ice cream. I showed her how I make a puzzle, one piece at a time and I only pick up the piece I am looking for. And, with each 'challenge piece' I found for her, she would look up and smile.

Earlier tonight, as I was sitting on the sofa listening to some music I had put on for all of us to listen to, watching the other five play games or read, my 9-year old wailer of a few hours ago was sitting next to me, leaning on me, hugging me. We chatted quietly for close to an hour. She listened as I talked about how hard it was to be a parent, how hard it was to be a kid, how lying wasn't nice, how being disrespectful wasn't nice. I tried to explain that yes, I may have raised my voice today but it did not mean I didn't love her. We talked about choices she can make and it was her choice to not do what she was asked and the result was being sent to her room. She asked why Aunt Jackie didn't trust her. I asked if the had given Aunt Jackie any reason NOT to trust her by lying or being disrespectful. She listened as I told my condensed story of the boy who cried wolf.

She asked questions like why do I love children, why did I come to Namibia, and [those who know me best will love this one...] why did I have to do work all the time when I was here. [And believe me, relatively speaking... I'm not]. I told her I come here to help out where I can, that I never know what God is going to ask me to do when I get here. And I said, who knows, maybe I was suppose to come here because He wanted me to spend some time with you, to help you be a better person. Maybe He knew you would need someone to talk with you tonight, someone you would listen to. That maybe the reason He wanted me to come to Namibia this time was so that we could do exactly what we are doing now.

In the end, we made a pinky deal that she would simply think about all I had said tonight, all that we had talked about, remembering all that had happened today; and that she would maybe not all of a sudden be better, because we both knew how hard that would be to do, but our deal was that... she would simply try hard to be better each day.

posted by Don @ 4:07 PM

2 Comments:

At 8:05 AM, Unknown said…

Hi Don.
this is a great blog. I'm not a blogger.(usually)
Your Mom and I were trying to tap in to The Holy Spirit last nite at a Retreat at Rez.
The Holy Spirit appears to be working hard in Arandis.Thanks to you and your family for sharing so much.The world seems much smaller.
Prayers to you and everyone you love Don.
andy james
At 11:17 PM, Darin said…

good stuff. i think you're on to something.