To those of you who were able to donate to the ministry before or while I was there - on the behalf of the ministry and the children you helped - THANK YOU!
Your donations helped:
purchase sixteen sweaters for the middle school children who had none, for this upcoming winter season.
purchase shoes for two children who had outgrown the ones they had, but were still wearing them because they had nothing else.
make a child smile simply by getting a "brand new" shirt and not a hand-me-down.
with school tuition for one particularly bright 19-year old who aspires to be a doctor and is hoping to get into a college here in the U.S.
purchase school supplies for the Talitha-Kumi Christian Academy
Your generosity has gone a long way; more than you will ever imagine.
We arrived back on U.S. soil on Saturday afternoon and arrived home somewhere between 2 and 3. All flights were great, we gathered all our luggage and had no incidences with Customs. Yes, all is good.
It was great to see many family members the following day, for Easter. I must admit, though, that the amount of food available to me was sort of not what I had been used to over the last four weeks. And, its abundance was noticeably apparent to me. Yes, we are truly blessed here.
My body, as expected, has yet to sync back up with the time here in the U.S. I've been venturing off to bed anytime between 6:30 and 7:30 PM and waking up around 1 AM, only to force myself back to sleep for at least another hour. Currently we are nearing 8 PM and I am hoping to last until about 9 PM.
So with trip #5 being over and done with, it was my best trip ever and I would gladly do it all over again.
Your prayers, however, are still needed in order to find a permanent mommie or couple to be the permanent mommie to Angela, Riaan, Ismael, Smithley, Queen and Memory. I hope to call them this week to see how they are doing and will keep you posted.
Back in 2006, when leaving Arandis for the first time, not truly knowing if I would ever be back was truly hard for me to do. I mean, let's be real about this, how many times in one's life does one think they will visit Africa, let alone return? Yet here it is, my fifth trip now coming to an end. With every trip that I have returned, leaving seems to have been easier, or at least not as hard as the first time. I guess that's a good thing. Or maybe a God thing?
But leaving is not without its paining.
Paining is what people here seem to use in place of hurts, or hurting. Many times we heard the children say, my head is paining, my stomach is paining. Yes, leaving here is paining. Leaving behind someone you are trying to help is not easy to do. There are a couple of children here that I truly feel bad about leaving; that I cannot be here to continue to support them on a daily basis because that is what is needed. Yes, one of the children is Chandre. Please keep her and many of the older children in your prayers as they cope with the pressures of coming into their teenage years. Issues of acceptance with oneself, with peers, sexual pressures, and alchohol are no different here than at home, with one exception; I believe the children here have a higher chance of falling to these temptations and urges simply because of the culture here.
Many people may ask what I miss most when I am here for such a long time. My only answer is Karen, the girls, other family and friends. There is absolutely nothing else that I miss from my life / lifestyle in the U.S. Okay, well maybe Frankie [our dog]... but I guess I would be chastised if I did not include him as part of the family. [Our concept of pets, and particularly the money we spend on them, really blows the minds of Africans here. And rightly so. But that's another discussion for another day.]
I know that for one or two weeks, my body's clock will be messed up beyond what you can imagine. Yet, what bewilders me is that whenever I come here, I am not messed up at all. I can arrive one day and feel normal the following morning.
I know that after having lived a meager lifestyle while here, I will question why I have all that I have, that I really don't need, back home.
I know that I will likely gain back the 10+ pounds I have lost while being here; which is, in some respects, testimony to all of the 'extras' I am blessed with back home.
I know that after having been here for a month, and not done the things I might normally do, why I end up getting drawn back into life as it is in the U.S.
I know that even after having completed this, my fifth trip, that there will be a sixth trip. When? Who knows. But I know there is a promise that it will happen.
So here is it, well after 1AM, Friday. No longer is it the night before, but it is now the day we leave. It is the start of a a 4-day weekend. Music and voices can be heard throughout the town; most likely originating from one of the shabeens [bars] here in town. I think I can expect this for at least another couple of hours; or at least it was not until after 3 AM that the music and voices subsided last night.
Thanks for following along and while I would like to promise or suggest there will be more posts, I would hate to disappoint [again] and not have any. So, there will be no such promises.
Well, the children are back at their home with their new temporary auntie. Candice is her name and she is 30 years old. She appears to have a heart for children and, as she takes on this awesome responsibility on her own, please keep her and Angela, Riaan, Ismael, Smithley, Queen and Memory, in your prayers during this [yet another] transition period.
Already it seems different knowing they are not here. As I begin to write this entry, it is well before their bedtime, yet it is quiet here. Normally at this time we are trying to settle them down for bed after having them bathe. It would have been their reading time now with lights out by 8PM.
But there's nothing. No sounds except for any activity outside.
Now, after being here for 26 days, try as I might, it's seems hard to imagine how this trip would have been WITHOUT having had the children to care for. No doubt I would have spent more time in the school, helping with the computer lab, teaching keyboarding perhaps. Maybe the two websites I had planned on completing, one new and one redesign, would actually have been completed.
It would have been different.
Jackie was telling me of the conversation she had with our next door neighbor, who is also a teacher at Talitha Kumi Christian Academy, where five of the children attend school. She has a heart for these children and often tears up when talking about them. However, yesterday, she said to Jackie that not only did we help the children, but we also were an inspiration to her - just by watching us simply get off a plane from America and take on the responsibility of six children and do all of the things we did - without having any prior knowledge of these plans.
One of the unexpected ripples.
So, what's on tap for tomorrow, our last day? We will most likely take advantage of our reduced responsibilities and begin our family visits to say our goodbyes. We still need to be available to make have the children for lunch since Candice will be heading in to Swakopmund with the other mommies to do their monthly grocery shopping. The children arrive home from school around 1:30 and these shopping trips typically take a bit longer. Yes, 7-8 mommies will pack into a mini van with a small trailer in tow to go shopping for the month. I've been on one of those shopping days during another visit here and it is interesting to see how it is all coordinated as not everyone shops at the same place.
I guess packing is also on tap, though I believe I will be able to condense two suitcases of 50 pounds each, one computer bag and one [20+ pound backpack] into one suitcase and a backpack that is more reasonable [much less than 20 pounds] in weight. Going home is always so much 'lighter' not having all of the supplies that we bring down. There will be a first, however, on this return trip for I will be bringing back a laptop that is not working, to see if I can get it fixed and then transported back by others who will be visiting later on this summer.
I think we will also get some time to talk with Brenda about how these past four weeks have gone and how we can continue to help out at the ministry here and prepare for our return trip. What could be next? How can being foster mom and dad to 6 children be topped? Well, some of the families here have 8-9 children and maybe one of those mommies needs some time off.
So here we are, in the morning of our last Sunday. Waiting here to head on over to the 10 AM Mass with Auntie Kassie and Auntie Jeanette. It's Palm Sunday and I am anxious to see just how it is celebrated here in Arandis; albeit in the Damara and Afrikaans languages.
Today we also need to make sure we finish getting photographs of the children and families for the website and deliver the tubs of Marshmallow Fluff that I brought down for them. If there is one thing that is consistent about this trip, as all of the others, it is the feeling I get towards the end; the feeling of so much to do and so little time.
Yesterday we had a great time at Moon City. It is sort of a private park where you can go and have a braai (cookout) and swim in a large brackish-water pool. The children had a wonderful time, as did the adults. A chance to simply unwind, laugh, talk and watch the children be children.
We topped the day off by making popcorn for the kids and heading to the edge of the desert and watching the sun set; something I had not yet done despite having been here 3 weeks.
I've begun to try to process how this trip has been for me. A trip in which the only thing I feel I planned or had a hand in was physically purchasing the plane tickets.
But the countdown has begun.
On Friday, April 2nd, as I am lifted off Namibian soil, how will I feel? How will I perceive this 5th trip here? As mission accomplished? But whose mission? Certainly not mine for I never could have planned this mission.
But is it ever really completed? When it comes to caring for children, how can it be? No, it's not mission complete, but chapter complete.
So what about this chapter? Only time will tell. No doubt it will be long after I have left, not just Namibia, but maybe this world, that the ripples I may have had a hand in creating will reach their outermost edges.
I can only hope that they've created other ripples... along the way.
Toivo is here in Arandis visiting. He is a shining example of what some of the ministry children can do as the result of the backing they get from ministry sponsors. He is currently in his last year at Windhoek International and hopes to continue on to college and become a surgeon.
Starving for attention and understanding... in a controlling sort of way.
For an hour and a half, or so, while five of the six were watching a movie, one of the six had been sent to her room before the movie started. Unhappy that she was sent to her room for displaying a 'bit of attitude' and not doing what she had been asked to do, she simply wailed and cried for at least half that time. During the movie I caught her near the edge of her open door, trying to catch a glimpse of the movie. Instructing her to get back on her bed, more crying and wailing ensued, as I heard more of, "I want to go home."
Once the movie was finished she was allowed out of her room as long as she stopped crying. All seemed better as she began to work on a puzzle with the others and we all had some cake and ice cream. I showed her how I make a puzzle, one piece at a time and I only pick up the piece I am looking for. And, with each 'challenge piece' I found for her, she would look up and smile.
Earlier tonight, as I was sitting on the sofa listening to some music I had put on for all of us to listen to, watching the other five play games or read, my 9-year old wailer of a few hours ago was sitting next to me, leaning on me, hugging me. We chatted quietly for close to an hour. She listened as I talked about how hard it was to be a parent, how hard it was to be a kid, how lying wasn't nice, how being disrespectful wasn't nice. I tried to explain that yes, I may have raised my voice today but it did not mean I didn't love her. We talked about choices she can make and it was her choice to not do what she was asked and the result was being sent to her room. She asked why Aunt Jackie didn't trust her. I asked if the had given Aunt Jackie any reason NOT to trust her by lying or being disrespectful. She listened as I told my condensed story of the boy who cried wolf.
She asked questions like why do I love children, why did I come to Namibia, and [those who know me best will love this one...] why did I have to do work all the time when I was here. [And believe me, relatively speaking... I'm not]. I told her I come here to help out where I can, that I never know what God is going to ask me to do when I get here. And I said, who knows, maybe I was suppose to come here because He wanted me to spend some time with you, to help you be a better person. Maybe He knew you would need someone to talk with you tonight, someone you would listen to. That maybe the reason He wanted me to come to Namibia this time was so that we could do exactly what we are doing now.
In the end, we made a pinky deal that she would simply think about all I had said tonight, all that we had talked about, remembering all that had happened today; and that she would maybe not all of a sudden be better, because we both knew how hard that would be to do, but our deal was that... she would simply try hard to be better each day.
I should be much more afraid of being mistaken and then finding out that Christianity is true than of being
mistaken in believing it to be true. (Pascal)
We all want to get to heaven but nobody wants to die. (Unknown...still looking)
God hasn't given you the events of your life to hold in your own hands. He is allowing you to watch them
unfold in His. (Shannon Kubiak, "God Called a Girl")
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